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Wang Siyu Emotional Q & A Room Original startup
Hello teacher: My parents are nearly 70 years old. I am a child.8 years ago, I insisted on my opinion to marry love and naked marriage.Parents did not say that having children did not say.Now they need to raise me when they are old. They do all of them, and they are not aggrieved a little bit. A small surgery, others go out to go out for dinner, but my dad will not drag me, and spend tens of thousands of thousands of thousands of thousands of thousandsEssence
I think he can take care of himself. I want to go to work. I go home and get a thing for 20 minutes. I called me and said that he hurts and the pain. Since it hurts why you do n’t find a doctor in the hospital?You call me, I am not in the hospital, what can I solve?Everyone said he was pretending.I feel so tired. When I was a kid, I was poor at home, and I would do everything.How do other girls grow up? How did I grow up?I am very sad in my heart.
Why do n’t my parents be considerate and pull me back.I was just married and pregnant, and I went to the ground to sprinkle fertilizer.I just started my career. You said that I was sick and I would take care of it. I just hate it. Obviously it ’s okay.Six surgery on the same stage, others went to bed on the third day, he would not get up, I would not dare to say to work to make money at work.I just want to tell them that there is any need to say, don’t torture me like this, but I said so directly, and I will definitely quarrel.I don’t know how to express it.
My mother would not get on the room. At the age of 12, I was riding a tricycle at the age of 12, and I took my mother to buy fertilizer with heavy rain.I bought a three -wheeled three -wheeled and returned to the ground to sprinkle fertilizer.I am 87 years old, and the children around me, especially the girls, have never worked hard.Others are parents buying fertilizers and dried wheat.In the summer that is so hot, only I am on the roof of wheat.It’s about to rain, and I also collect wheat by myself.
Maybe that’s it. From a young age to now, I have been used to the pillar of the pillar. They do not consider my feelings now, as long as I do n’t want them to do all kinds of work.I am particularly aggrieved. I feel that my parents must be raised, but they are so depressed to torture me like this.Sometimes I want to leave.I don’t know how to express my current thoughts with them.I want to say something straight, don’t do it for me, I can do it.
I think the marriage I chose myself, they disagree, even the dowry, there is no money to have a child, and I have not helped me bring my children. I feel that I can’t lift my head in my in -laws.My parents live in the man.They are always doing this, my husband is here, what should I do, and quarreling in the morning and evening must be outbreak.Please help me analyze and analyze, thank you.
Emotional Expert, Master of Psychology: Hao Jingyi
Thank you for your trust, take a serious look at your message. From your narrative, you can feel that you are a strong and independent girl. He has his own views on life and his own persistence.But while you are strong, you are also eager to get your parents’ understanding and unconditional support.Unfortunately, you don’t feel support and help from your parents, but you feel that they will take a lot of care to you and even do it.Under normal circumstances, people do not have requirements and expectations for others, and they will not cause loss and disappointment, and it is precisely because of this that you actually have a lot of expectations for your parents.
Your parents do not satisfy your expectations. You are disappointed and may even have resentment.You said that when you were young, you helped your parents to do a heavy housework, selling fertilizer fertilizer and fertilizer wheat, etc. You did it because you were sensible early, wanted to help your parents, and so on.Based on your message, I want to say the following points:
First, what do you do for your parents to do these things?
Generally, it is to reduce the burden of parents, obtain the praise of parents, and replace the parents’ care more about themselves.In your heart, you are particularly expected to love you and take care of you like your real parents. Everything is centered on you.But you don’t have this feeling.
If it is generally, many children will quarrel directly with their parents and complain about them.But you have always handled your expectations and disappointment in your heart.Especially you say that your parents are not biological, but for adoptive parents.In your eyes, adoptive parents are more different from your biological parents, and you can’t, dare to directly say your demands. These demands are deeper and deeper in your heart.After the outbreak, you may be more worried that you don’t know how to end, right?All your performances, all hard work, are actually to gain stable love, and at the same time make them feel that you are a good child.
Second, in fact, parents have not regarded you as someone else!
If you think your parents are not seen at all, you are sick and you are upright and ask you to take care of you to spend money to accompany you. First, I feel that they have not regarded you as a daughter. They are like asking for biological daughters.You ask you to be good to them, not afraid of you, you are not afraid of you.Second, I feel that they have been accustomed to asking you like this for many years, used to accepting your care. If you are used to something, you will come forward, so why not continue to enjoy these?In your relationship, there is both a sexual relationship and a politeness to adoptive parents.
Now that you have realized the problem, can you dare to make changes, change the silence and depression of the past, and start trying to tell your parents your thoughts?
Third, even the biological parents, there are too many to prevent their children from marrying.
And the marriage you choose, whether it is biological parents or adoptive parents, they all have the freedom to agree and oppose. They also have the freedom to support you or not to support you. At least they do not find death and dismantle you.With enough respect, you do n’t think that they do n’t give you dowry, do n’t help you bring your children, so that you ca n’t raise your head in your wife’s house. It is a psychological problem you need to solve, not your parents’ problem.
Fourth, if the father is sick, you can do it from another angle.
Do you know why parents do all kinds of work?Why is my father sick, but he deliberately pretended not to take care of himself?Because before, you are a child without borders.In order to gain the love of your parents, you sacrificed everything you.Well, now you grow up, you have your own family.Parents are not used to, and their inside insecurity came out.They don’t know how can they keep your love in how can they be kept.They do n’t have much culture. They can only use sickness, make trouble, find your troubles, and let you come back to take care of them, and wait for a variety of uncomfortable ways.
In fact, they are two children.They are asking for hugs, love, attention, and companionship.So, at this time, how to accompany parents to grow up, let parents gradually become one, and two adults who can leave their daughter and live well.This is a question you have to think about.Then, just like letting children grow into a healthy adult, you want to make your parents a pair of healthy adults. The only way is ——— love!But it is not love without principles, not only the love they want, but that one of them realize that even if you turn around, your love is still there; one, they will try to understand your love.Note, the premise is that you have to have the ability to guide.
Finally, wish you hello.Believe in yourself, everything will be fine!