Funny paragraph: Girlfriend confessed to me, she was pregnant, the child was not mine

1. The girlfriend confessed to me, she was pregnant, the child was not mine. She said that a woman of a woman lied to her. She wanted to kill the child and ask me if I could forgive her?I told her affectionately: "My dear, don’t do stupid things. The child is innocent. I want you to be born, I will be responsible …" I didn’t wait for me to finish, she covered it gentlyMy mouth.I think, when the child is born, I must be responsible for sending the two scumbags to the scumbag, so that they can get the punishment they deserve …

2. The older sister took me to a blind date, and also gave me a leather coat for me to wear, saying that it was thousands of thousands, I was moved.When I arrived at the place, when I saw the girl, my older sister was uncomfortable. The girl stared at the old sister for a while, looked at the leather clothes on my body, and hummed: "The night market bought with me eighty yuan last night.The clothes are wearing a blind date today? What! 80 yuan? Isn’t it a thousand?

3. When I was a kid, the dog’s dog died, and I organized my friends to imitate it.What is even more terrible is that after a week, I remembered that it was time to burn one seven paper, and organized little partners to make a few wreaths with colorful paper and corn rods, and let everyone get one cry and go out to the grave. So farI can’t forget the women on the street, and the smile and back of the laughed and the sound of gag …

4. A couple drove to the honeymoon. As a result, the car engine suddenly turned off halfway, her husband repaired for a long time, and the car still didn’t move.Seeing my husband sweaty, his wife comforted and said, "There is a hotel not far in front. We will go there for one night there. If you get up tomorrow morning, the car will be good by himself, don’t worry." The husband said, "ThatIt was something before marriage, this time the car was really bad! "

5. In ancient times, the hero saved the beauty. If the hero looks handsome, the beautiful woman will say shamefully: the hero’s life -saving grace, the little girl does not think it is a report, only to make a promise.If you are not handsome, you will say: "Heroes’ life -saving grace, the little girl does not think of reporting. Only the afterlife is a cattle and a horse, and report this big grace." But if the woman’s image is good, the hero will say: girls are serious?If the image of a woman is not good, the hero will say: Girls must not be.From ancient times to the present, it has been a time to look at the face … This is reasonable …

6. Last year, Qingming, the family went up the mountain to sweep the ancestral grave. The 17 -year -old cousin of the aunt’s family suddenly twice, then smiled twice, and said: You are here, you are a bit filial.Then quickly squatted down and picked up the tribute. The 15 -year -old cousin of the second aunt’s family was scared to cry. The uncle took the lead in reacting. When he went up, he gave his cousin a big mouth.The relatives who went up to persuade, just watched my cousin shed tears and finished 100 heads before letting him down …

7. I had a dream last night, dreaming of a group of people chasing me!Then I woke up, then drank the saliva and went to sleep. I didn’t expect to return to that dream again. The group said: Yo, do you dare to come back?

8. I went to see my teeth yesterday and found that the female doctor who showed me the teeth looked pretty good. I thought: Now girls like to have money, and I must find the opportunity to show my strength.The doctor asked: The teeth are broken, is it pulled?I pretended to be nervous: Will the words of tooth extraction affect my driving Binli?Doctor: It does not affect, it is a bit of leakage when it is bragging.

9. I often wash my hair for free, and I asked where he washed.He told me that if you find a lot of barber shops to go in and say haircut, he will help you wash your hair.Because there are so many people, you have to wait a while, you will say to buy a bag of cigarettes, and then there will be no more.

10. I do n’t want to wash the dishes after eating. Mom suggests: Let ’s play and seek, do you catch it, and you can catch the dishes.As soon as I heard it fairly, I couldn’t find it when I couldn’t find it. I called my mother: I lost, where do you hide?My mother said: After losing, I washed the bowl. My dad and I were shopping in the mall.

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